Learning how to Set Boundaries.
We are all guilty from time to time. It can happen with a spouse, a colleague, a boss, or even our children. We agree to a million requests, make plans we aren’t thrilled about, over promise on an impossible deadline, or allow ourselves to be treated in a way we don’t appreciate, all because we didn’t have clear boundaries in place.
Even the most self-assured, confident, emotionally intelligent human has at least a small people pleaser inside them. No one wants to disappoint someone, and no one wants to look self-absorbed and indifferent to the needs or wants of others. Thus, the internal battle of learning to set boundaries ensues. Setting boundaries is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships and learning how to set them and when to use them is a skill. Here are some steps you can take to set a boundary with someone:
1. Be clear about your boundary:
It’s important to be clear about what you are and are not comfortable with. Take some time to reflect on your needs and boundaries before you have the conversation with the other person.
2. Use “I” statements:
When you’re communicating your boundary, use “I” statements to express how you feel. For example, instead of saying “You need to stop doing that,” say “I feel uncomfortable when you do that.”
3. Be firm and direct:
It’s important to be firm and direct when communicating your boundary, but also respectful and empathetic. Try to avoid being confrontational or aggressive but be clear and assertive in your communication.
4. Be willing to negotiate:
It’s possible that the other person may not agree with your boundary or may need some time to adjust to it. Be willing to negotiate and find a compromise that works for both of you.
5. Follow through:
Once you’ve set a boundary, it’s important to follow through and enforce it. This shows the other person that you’re serious about your boundary and helps to establish trust and respect in the relationship.
Remember, setting boundaries is an ongoing process and a skill set you may need to learn and practice before you are comfortable using. You may need to adjust your boundaries over time as your needs and circumstances change, and it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with the other person to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship. Contact me for more information!
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